Mindfulness and Pleasure

We live in a world full of distractions. Most people can't sit still for 30 seconds without reaching for their phone, a remote control, or some other object to distract themselves.

There's an art to stilling yourself and truly experiencing the present moment. Many of us have lost the ability to do this in a world where "idleness is the mother of all vices" and productivity is prioritized over pleasure. A world where it's easier to live day to day on autopilot than to stay connected to our surroundings and ourselves.

How often do you take the time to be present and aware in the moment? How often do you take the time to pay attention to what you feel, taste, see, hear, and smell around you? Reflect for a moment and think about how your attention influences how you connect with your experiences. For example, when you eat a raisin, do you simply put it in your mouth and chew it? Or do you take the time to observe its ridges and colors, feel the texture, smell the aromas, listen to your chewing, and perceive its sweet and sour taste, and perhaps even a hint of bitterness?

Some of our best memories include being able to smell, see, feel, hear, and taste in that moment. The same is true with our sexual experiences. If we're thinking about lunch, the kids in the other room, or work, we lose the connection and the essence of the experience. That's why practicing mindfulness can be the key to unlocking pleasure in sexual experiences.

The founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction, Jon Kabat-Zinn , states that there are seven attitudes toward mindfulness :

• Acceptance: See things as they are, no matter what happens

• Beginner's Mind: Open yourself to new possibilities and avoid the habit of getting stuck in your own experience by staying curious and open-minded.

• Let go: Let your experience be what it is in the moment. Don't cling to thoughts, emotions, or situations.

• Don't judge: Be an impartial witness to your own experience.

• Don't fight it: Be with yourself here and now. Don't try to change what's happening.

• Patience: Accept the fact that things sometimes happen in their own time.

• Trust: Understand that it's okay to make mistakes. Trust yourself and your feelings.

Imagine how relaxed, engaged, and fun sex can be if you incorporate the attitudes above. Live in a space where every encounter is something new. Let go of the past. Trust yourself. Don't strive for a result; be patient and accept yourself and your partner. All of this sounds pretty amazing.

Mindfulness is the ability to be present and fully participate in our experiences, allowing each experience to have a lasting effect on us. In the act of mindfulness, we perceive experiences without judgment and honor all that is present. We learn to always bring ourselves back to the present, letting go of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. There is something new to learn in every moment when we maintain our attention in the here and now.

Our society has taught us to disconnect from and harshly judge our bodies and sexual selves. Mindfulness practices help our brains rewire the negative scripts that prevent us from being 100 percent connected and present in our bodies, which, in turn, prevents us from fully accepting ourselves. It's about placing awareness above judgment; perceiving what's happening without deciding whether it's good or bad; being tolerant of ourselves, accepting that everything has light and darkness.

Receiving pleasure is an act of love. Giving pleasure is an act of love. It's right to love our bodies and stop to appreciate all the sensations. In many ways, achieving mindfulness becomes an obligation, not only to survive, but to flourish and truly connect with others.

According to Dr. Rezvan Ameli , a senior clinical psychologist, there are two main components to mindfulness: focused attention and heart opening. In your next sexual moment, see in detail how the experience changes when you focus your attention and consistently keep your heart open. This is where meditation and yoga, more particularly those aimed at opening the heart, can help someone achieve an authentic connection with their sexual self. Whenever you feel your mind wandering, return your attention to a new action or sensation in the present time. Try visualizing yourself breathing from your heart and spreading the heart's energy over yourself and/or your partner(s). Mindfulness can be the key to recharging your sexual life and being.

Reference: Live ALive Blog